Diving-in to the Nitty Gritty

Welcome back to part 2 of this scintillating blog series on trust in relationships. Firstly, in case you missed part 1, let me give you a quick rundown. We talked about the crucial role that trust plays in any relationship, the most common issues that can cause it to falter, and a slew of powerful strategies for building trust from the ground up.

But today, we’re going to take things to the next level by exploring the nitty-gritty of maintaining trust over the long haul. We’ll dive deep and get our hands dirty with even more practical tips for keeping the trust flame burning bright. And if you’re in a situation where trust has already been broken, don’t worry, we’ve got some surefire methods for getting things back on track.

So buckle up, get ready for some serious knowledge bombs, and let’s do this thing!

Maintaining Trust: Actions to Take:

Establishing trust isn’t the end of the story, but rather an ongoing process that requires consistent effort and commitment through your actions and behaviors.

So, how can you maintain trust in your relationships? Here are some practical tips that can help:

Be Consistent and Reliable

When it comes to relationships, consistency is like the secret sauce that keeps the flame alive. It’s the foundation upon which trust is built and nurtured. Think about it, would you trust someone who showed up sporadically or who frequently broke promises? Probably not. That’s why being consistent and reliable is so crucial.

Consistency is not just about showing up physically, it’s also about being emotionally present for your partner. It means being consistent in your words and actions so that your partner can rely on you to be there for them, to support them, and to share in the ups and downs of life.

For instance, if you promise to be home for dinner at a certain time, make sure you keep your word. If you say you’ll be there to support your partner at an important event, make sure you show up and provide the support they need.

Being consistent and reliable is not just important in big things, but also in the insignificance of everyday life. It’s the little gestures of love and care that make all the difference in a relationship. It’s taking out the trash when you said you would, sending a sweet text message in the middle of a busy day, or simply being a good listener when your partner needs to vent. Whatever it is, by being consistent and reliable you communicate that you can be trusted.

Show Appreciation and Gratitude

As human beings, we all want to feel appreciated and valued, especially by those we care about the most. In relationships, expressing gratitude can go a long way in building and maintaining trust. It’s a way of showing your partner that you see and recognize their efforts, and that you don’t take them for granted.

When was the last time someone genuinely thanked you for something you did? How did it make you feel? Probably pretty good. Well, the same goes for your partner. When you express your gratitude towards them, it can make them feel loved, appreciated, and more willing to continue contributing to the relationship.

Appreciation doesn’t have to be a grand gesture – sometimes, it’s the small things that count. A sincere “thank you” after your partner mows the lawn, or a heartfelt note left on their pillow can go a long way. It’s all about showing your partner that you notice and appreciate the little things they do.

For example, imagine your partner spends the whole day cleaning the house, doing laundry, and preparing dinner, all while you’re at work. When you get home and see the immaculate house and smell the delicious dinner, you could express your gratitude by saying something like, “Wow, you’ve done such an amazing job today. Thank you so much for taking care of everything while I was at work. I feel so lucky to have you in my life.”

By expressing your appreciation in this way, you’re not only making your partner feel valued and respected, but you’re also reinforcing the positive behaviors that contribute to a loving and supportive relationship. Check out more behaviors in my Youtube Video that can enhance the quality of your relationship.

Stay Connected and Engaged

One of the biggest threats to trust is disconnection. When you disconnect from your partner, they may feel neglected or unimportant. Make time for each other and engage in activities that strengthen your bond. This could be as simple as having a date night, taking a walk together, or engaging in a shared hobby.

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it’s easy to get swept up in work, social obligations, and other distractions that can break down the infrastructure of trust and intimacy that you’ve built with your significant other.

If you’re not careful, disconnection can quickly take hold, causing feelings of neglect and insignificance to fester and grow. That’s why it’s vital to stay connected and engaged with your partner in ways that make you both feel seen, heard, and appreciated.

Be intentional about carving time together. Whether it’s a weekly date night or a monthly weekend getaway, prioritizing time for just the two of you can help you stay attuned to each other’s needs and desires.

Everyday moments of connection can contribute greatly to strengthening your bond. Holding hands while watching TV, sharing a cup of coffee in the morning, or taking a leisurely stroll around the block all create opportunities for intimacy and connection.

Remember, the key is to stay present and engaged with your partner, even when life gets hectic. Making your relationship a priority and consistently showing up for each other puts trust front and center ensuring that it stands the test of time. This FREE Coaching Tool is a great resource to help you stay present.

Address Conflicts and Issues as They Arise

All relationships have ups and downs, twists and turns and conflict is as natural to a relationship as harmony and happiness. It can either strengthen your bond or tear it apart. It’s how you handle these conflicts that determine the relationship’s health and longevity.

Conflict is like the weather – it’s bound to happen, but it’s up to you how you deal with it that determines the relationship’s health and longevity. Sweeping issues under the rug or letting them fester, is just setting yourself up for a big storm down the line. Instead, face the weather head-on and address conflicts and issues as they arise.

I know this can be easier said than done. It’s not always easy to stay calm and collected in the heat of the moment, especially when emotions are running high. But if you shift the focus on finding solutions rather than blaming each other, you can actually use conflict as an opportunity to deepen your understanding of each and grow closer.

When you work together to solve a problem, you’re sending a powerful message. You’re saying, “I care about you and our relationship enough to work through this.” That’s a message that can really build trust and connection over time.

On the other hand, avoiding conflict and letting resentment build up, is like a cancer that eats away at the integrity of the relationship. You may think you’re keeping the peace by not rocking the boat, but in reality, you’re just letting the boat sink slowly.

So when conflict comes knocking don’t run away from it. Take a deep breath, put on your problem-solving hat, and tackle it head-on. Your partner will appreciate your effort, and your relationship will be all the better for it. I love The ‘Art of Fighting Fair.‘ It’s one of my top favorite blogs, dedicated to providing valuable insights and strategies for effectively resolving conflict.

Avoid Behavior That Undermines Trust

This may seem obvious, but it’s worth mentioning: don’t engage in behavior that undermines trust. This includes lying, hiding things from your partner, or engaging in behaviors that violate the boundaries of your relationship. When you act in ways that undermine trust, you may cause irreparable damage and devastating heartbreak.

It’s amazing how many people engage in behaviors that damage the core of trust. It may seem like a no-brainer, but it’s worth repeating: If you want to keep the trust in your relationship intact, avoid behaviors that sabotage it.

For instance, maybe you’ve lied to your partner, about something seemingly insignificant. Perhaps you thought it was no big deal, or you didn’t want to hurt their feelings. However, what you didn’t realize is that your lie may have planted a seed of doubt in your partner’s mind, making them question what else you may be hiding from them. Over time, that seed can grow into a tree of mistrust, casting a shadow over every aspect of your relationship.

Similarly, have you ever kept something from your partner, thinking that it wasn’t worth mentioning? Perhaps you had a conversation with a coworker that you knew would make your partner jealous, so you didn’t bring it up. Or maybe you made a significant purchase without telling your partner, thinking that it was your money to spend. However, what you may not realize is that by keeping things from your partner, you’re essentially building a wall between the two of you, one that will only grow higher and thicker as time goes on.

What about engaging in behaviors that violate the boundaries of your relationship? Maybe you had a fling with someone else, thinking that it was just a physical thing and wouldn’t affect your relationship. Or perhaps you spent a lot of time with a friend of the opposite sex, even though you knew it made your partner uncomfortable. Whatever the case may be, when you cross the line and violate the boundaries of your relationship, you’re essentially saying that your needs and desires are more important than your partner’s feelings.

If you want to maintain a solid and long-lasting relationship, it’s essential to avoid behaviors that harm the framework of trust. And you simply do this by being honest, transparent, and respectful of your partner’s feelings and boundaries.

Restoring Trust: What to Do When It’s Broken

Trust can be damaged in various ways, from major betrayals to a series of smaller incidents that can shake the pillars of trust. Even the strongest relationships can be tested, and trust can be broken. When this happens, it can feel like the ground has been ripped out from under you, leaving you feeling hurt, confused, and unsure of what to do next.

But with time, effort, and a commitment to change, it’s not only possible to restore trust in your relationship but also to emerge even stronger and more complete than before. However, it is not an easy journey but here are some practical steps to take when trust is broken:

Acknowledge the hurt and damage caused – The first step in restoring trust is to acknowledge the hurt and damage that has been caused. It’s crucial to recognize the impact of your actions on your partner’s feelings and to express genuine remorse for any pain you may have caused. This requires vulnerability and the willingness to take responsibility for your actions.

Apologize sincerely and take responsibility – An authentic and sincere apology is a powerful tool for restoring trust. A genuine apology involves taking responsibility for your behavior, expressing empathy for your partner’s pain, and making a commitment to change. Avoid making excuses or justifications for your actions and focus on taking ownership of your mistakes.

Be patient and understanding of your partner’s feelings – It’s important to be patient and understanding of your partner’s feelings as you work to rebuild trust. It takes time to heal from the pain and betrayal of broken trust, and your partner may need space, time, and support to process their emotions. Be willing to listen to your partner’s concerns and feelings without becoming defensive or dismissive.

Make a plan to address the issues and prevent them from happening again – To prevent the same issues from happening again, it’s essential to make a plan and take action. Identify the behaviors or actions that contributed to the broken trust, and work together with your partner to develop a plan to address them. This may involve setting boundaries, making changes to your behavior, being open and communicative about your emotions and needs, making an effort to prioritize your relationship and your partner’s needs, or seeking professional help if needed.

Follow through on your promises and commitments – It’s not just about saying the right things, but also about showing up and following through on your promises and commitments.

Particularly in the aftermath of an act of infidelity, actions truly do speak louder than words. Your partner needs to see that you are making a sincere effort to make things right and to be consistent in your behavior. You need to be reliable, trustworthy, and accountable for your actions. This means taking responsibility for your mistakes, being transparent and honest about your intentions, and demonstrating a true commitment to positive change.

Transparency is key – Your partner may have a hard time trusting you again after being hurt, but being honest and open with them about your actions and intentions can help to rebuild that trust. This means being willing to answer their questions and concerns, even if it’s uncomfortable or difficult. If you’re serious about making things work, you need to be open and vulnerable and show your partner that you want to work through the challenges together.

Being honest and acknowledging your relationship issues – Imagine the devastation of discovering that your partner has betrayed your trust. It can feel like a stab in the heart, leaving you wondering how you could have been so blind to not see it coming. It’s easy to point the finger at the person who did the betraying, but that’s not where the real work begins.

Betrayal can actually be an opportunity for a reckoning of the relationship. It’s a chance for both partners to engage in a long, hard conversation, where they are open and honest with each other, and willing to listen to where they may have gone wrong. This isn’t about assigning blame or starting a screaming match – it’s about healing and growth.

To recover from infidelity, both partners must take a deep dive into their shortcomings and look at how they have contributed to the breakdown of the relationship. This can be a painful process, as it may require facing some uncomfortable truths about yourself. But only then can the relationship hope to be restored.

Blaming the adulterer will not solve anything. In fact, the person who did the betraying is likely experiencing intense feelings of guilt, shame, and disappointment in themselves. Instead, the focus needs to be on acknowledging the issues that caused the relationship to break down in the first place and each partner taking responsibility for their part in it. I wrote a 5-part blog series about infidelity, starting HERE.

It’s not an easy road, but by facing the issues head-on, both partners can clear the slate and transform the foundation of the relationship. This means being willing to listen, to empathize, and to take a hard look at yourself. It also means being open to change and committing to working together to build a stronger, more resilient partnership. If your relationship has been wounded by the painful experience of infidelity, consider exploring the 7-step Infidelity Recovery Program to begin the healing process.

Final Thoughts: Trust – The Bedrock of Strong Relationships

Trust is the bedrock upon which all strong and enduring relationships are built. It’s the invisible bond that connects you both on a deeper level and allows you to feel safe, seen, and understood. Without trust, love can quickly turn into suspicion, resentment, and fear.

But building and maintaining trust is not easy. It takes time, effort, and a willingness to be vulnerable and honest with each other. It means showing up consistently, being accountable for your actions, and communicating openly and transparently. It also means being willing to forgive and move forward when trust has been broken.

Yet, the effort is worth it. When trust is established and nurtured, it creates a profound sense of safety and security that allows you to flourish individually and together. It enables you to weather the storms of life, overcome challenges and obstacles, and deepen your love and connection.

In a world that can often feel unpredictable and chaotic, trust is the one constant that you can rely on. It’s the anchor that keeps you steady when everything else feels like it’s in flux. By prioritizing trust in your relationship, you can create a foundation of stability and support that will endure for a lifetime.

Work With Me! ❤️

As a Life and Couples Coach, I absolutely love sharing insights and tips through my blog and social media. But, I have to admit, nothing beats the feeling of helping couples like you strengthen your bond and achieve a happier, more fulfilling relationship.

Whether you’re facing a tough situation, looking to deepen your connection, or just want to enhance your overall happiness together, I’m here to help. Together, we’ll create a customized action plan that’s tailored to your unique needs and goals.

During a FREE, one-on-one ‘Couple’s Strategy Session‘, we’ll explore what’s working well in your relationship and tackle any challenges you might be facing. It’s the first step towards creating the relationship of your dreams. Let’s do this together!

And finally, I’d like to extend my heartfelt appreciation for your continued readership and support of my blog. I know that life can often present numerous challenges and obligations, which makes it even more significant that you dedicate your time to connect with my content. Your steadfast support is highly valued and sincerely cherished. Connect with me on social media or subscribe to my newsletter to access the Relationship Assessment, which can help you evaluate the current state of your relationship.

See ya soon! 🌻

With Grace and Gratitude

Michelle

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