Saturday Journaling Prompt:

Write about a time when a rejection led to something better in your life.

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It’s Personal

The big day was less than a month away and Claire was already feeling nervous and overwhelmed. She had been dreaming about this promotion almost as soon as she started at the bank 3 years ago. And now, Mr. Henry’s early retirement opened up a senior position that she felt was just perfect for her.

Clair spent hours and hours researching her company’s stocks and assets and just about anything else that would give her the edge for her upcoming interview. She wanted to impress the panel and would be well-prepared for any questions that came her way.

She was determined to give it her best shot but for Claire landing a position as Regional manager was personal. From as far back as she could remember, she was always highly driven. She enjoyed working and was well on her way to the upper echelons of the banking world until a cycling accident a few years ago stopped her in her tracks. A fateful moment that would have far-reaching consequences for herself and her family.

The accident caused serious damage to Clair’s lower back and the constant pain was unbearable. Against her better judgment and against everything she believed in, she eventually succumbed to her doctor’s recommendation and he started her on a course of OxyContin. It was the beginning of the road to hell. Clair became so addicted to the drugs that she began pawning her belonging to maintain the addiction. Her husband couldn’t take any more of her dangerous, erratic behavior, he filed for divorce, and moved out, taking the children with him.

It took Clair 3 years to clean up her life and get back on track. Now with the kids back home, both doing well in school, the past is thoroughly behind her. This promotion would help her reclaim her self-respect and dignity most importantly she felt, in the eyes of her children.

Clair was well-primed and felt confident going into the interview. Her responses were clear and assertive and the look on the interviewer’s faces signaled that they were very impressed.

Imagine Clair’s dismay when two days later, she received a rather polite rejection letter. She was devastated. She cried for days and fell into a deep depression. The rejection was a severe gut punch to Claire. It would either make or break the coming chapters of her life.

Rejection Is Not The End

Taking rejection personally is a sure way of securing a hopeless end. You internalize the rejection and interpret it as a defective aspect of who you are as a person. You criticize and condemn yourself and convince yourself that you are stupid, not good enough or that the world is out to get you. Your inner critic runs rampant in your mind and in the process, wall-slams your self-esteem into a million pieces. You see everything around you through lenses of negativity that justify your self-disgust and disdain. After a while depression and anxiety set in. Resentment sets in. Anger sets in. You’re angry at yourself and the world and nothing that you do alleviates the rage that has become your waking reality. The chip on your shoulder has morphed into a long-suffering log and ends up as the permanent burden you carry around.

However, rejection is not the end. Rather it is the beginning of something far better and far more rewarding than you could have ever imagined. Rejection is a mechanism that opens doors that otherwise would have remained tightly shut. But only when you keep on knocking.

When someone rejects you, use it as an opportunity to go back to the drawing board and discover ways of becoming better. To develop new skills, broaden your creativity, work on your self-esteem, and acquire knowledge, learning, and assets that make you more attractive the next time around. Remember the focus is not the outcome, stay in the process, the present, the experience, that’s where your learning and growth take place. Over time you gather momentum, increase confidence and become solidly grounded in who you are.

When you frame rejection as a learning experience you release its stranglehold. You are freed to try new things and expand your world, without that all-consuming fear of rejection.

Though it may not feel like it at the time, being rejected over and over increases your determination and resilience. You grow into that person that never gives up and who lives from a discerning sense of self with a robust set of life skills and mindset to match.

The ultimate fix for feelings of rejection is high self-esteem. Building an unshakable foundation from the inside out makes it impossible for people to shake or shatter your interior world. You worry little, if at all, about the opinions of others because you have a powerful internal compass and see rejection as a necessary step towards your success. No one can make you feel inferior, or unworthy for you believe deeply in yourself and your intrinsic value and worth. When you fall down, you simply get back up, dust yourself down, and continue on your wild and wonderful journey. A little wiser, more experienced, and better equipped to get to the finish line.

Rejection is not an indictment of what you have to offer, it is merely a redirection to the audience, person, or situation that is ready to receive what you have to give.

It’s impossible to avoid rejection in your life. Here’s how to use it to spur you on to better things.

Let’s look at these 5 questions to turn rejection from disappointment to opportunity.

1. Rejection is simply a sign you need to keep looking. So, what’s next?
2. How could your rejection be an opportunity to wake up – and get to the next level?
3. How is this rejection a symbol of your courage, determination, and grit?
4. How does it feel to let go of the outcome you were hoping for?
5. No one can make you feel inferior – without your permission. How are you wonderful? (Make a list)

Ponder these questions over the week ahead. Journal around them to go deeper.

JOURNALING

Journaling is such a powerful tool for the management of your mental health and well-being. According to hundreds if not thousands of scientific studies, putting your feelings into words lessens their emotional impact. Journaling can also give you a greater sense of control of your feelings, instead of your feelings controlling you. It supports anxiety and works like a release valve that releases built-up pressure from sadness, anger, and pain. The value of everyday journaling is priceless. Be consistent, dig deep and express yourself freely. Make it your soft place to land whenever you feel lonely and in need. Use journaling to celebrate your wins, review your failures, and create your goals and dreams. Make it fun!

With grace and gratitude

Michelle

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