The Silent Thief | Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

Self-esteem refers to your overall sense of self-worth or self-value, it serves as a gauge of your daily confidence and satisfaction. High self-esteem equips you to live life with an air of positivity that radiates from within; Conversely, low esteem can lead to feelings of insecurity and constant questioning of your worth. Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem can be a silent thief, stealing your confidence and self-worth. It can make you feel small and insignificant, causing you to second-guess every decision and doubt your abilities. It’s a vicious cycle, leading you to make choices that keep you trapped in patterns of behavior that ultimately do more harm than good. You may find yourself isolated and unfulfilled, longing for something more but unable to reach for it due to your own self-doubt. Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

But as you come to understand all the nuances of your being, you’ll also come to realize that understanding the neural mechanisms that govern self-esteem is a crucial aspect of your personal growth.

For instance, your internal sense of control, the belief in your own ability to shape your life, it seems, is intricately connected to the strength of connections within the brain. A recent Dartmouth study provides insight and found that individuals with a strong connection between the medial prefrontal cortex, responsible for self-knowledge, and the ventral striatum, which plays a role in the sensation of reward, possessed a high level of long-term self-esteem. Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

Like learning to ride a bike, the way you think about yourself is developed through practice and repetition. The more you practice, the stronger you become, until eventually, you can ride without even thinking about it. Similarly, by strengthening the pathways of the brain, you can improve your self-esteem.

We can actually sculpt and strengthen our synaptic connections, based on repeated practice.

~ Dr. Shauna Shapiro

Very few studies have ever looked at self-esteem from a neurological point of view,” said the lead author of the study, Robert Chavez. “That’s surprising because self-esteem is such an important concept in psychology. People with high self-esteem are less prone to depression, eating disorders, anxiety, and other affective disorders.” Read more

Self-doubt and low self-esteem can creep in and consume you, gnaw away at your self-identity, and manifest in ways that hold you back from truly living. It shows up in social avoidance, withdrawal from relationships and activities, and a negative impact on mental health, career opportunities, and life satisfaction. Part 1 of this 2-part series delves into the common signs of low self-esteem and offers tips and strategies to help you take the first step toward breaking free from the shackles of self-doubt and reclaiming your personal power. Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

1. Negative self-talk | Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

Negative self-talk is a harmful habit that can lead to low self-esteem, depression, and a lack of motivation. It involves constantly criticizing yourself and having negative thoughts about your abilities, appearance, and worth. You may speak to yourself in a critical or negative manner, such as saying things like “I can’t do this” or “I’m not good enough.” Negative self-talk can be triggered by a variety of factors, including past experiences, stress, and societal pressure. It can be difficult to break the cycle of negative self-talk, but it’s important to recognize that these thoughts are not necessarily true and that they can be changed. Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

Research has shown that there is a negative correlation between self-esteem and cognitive distortion. Cognitive distortions are habitual patterns of thinking that are often irrational, inaccurate, and negatively biased and can lead to inaccurate perceptions of reality. With low self-esteem, you may be more likely to engage in cognitive distortions such as all-or-nothing thinking, personalization, and catastrophizing. These cognitive distortions can lead to negative thoughts and feelings, which in turn can further lower self-esteem. Try this Coaching Exercise to evaluate cognitive distortions that may be negatively impacting your enjoyment of life.

It should be noted that self-esteem and cognitive distortion are not always correlated and that it can be possible to have high self-esteem and still engage in cognitive distortions or to have low self-esteem and not engage in cognitive distortions. Additionally, the relationship between self-esteem and cognitive distortion is complex and may be influenced by a variety of factors such as life experiences, personality, and mental health. However, developing self-awareness and management of the chatter in your mind is a crucial factor in whether negative self-talk and cognitive distortion impact your self-identity and overall view of yourself and the world. Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

Tips For Managing Negative Self-Talk | Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

• NOTICE

Every single one of us has an inner critic, that voice in our head that whispers doubts and insecurities. But the truth is, we are not our thoughts. We have the power to quiet that voice and replace it with positive affirmations and self-love. One way to combat negative self-talk is to become aware of it. Notice when it starts to creep in and acknowledge it, but don’t engage with it.

• MINDFULNESS

Mindfulness practice is one of the best techniques to become more conscious of these thoughts. It is a powerful tool for training your attention and connecting with the present moment. You observe without judgment and become aware of your thoughts and feelings without attaching labels. Mindfulness also offers the opportunity to stop, take a break, and examine what’s going on in the mind before reacting. This crucial pause allows you to choose a response rather than being swept away in a whirlwind of negative critical thoughts.

Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. ~ Viktor Frank

Mindfulness can therefore be a tool to avoid self-criticism and judgment supporting you to better understand the synergistic relationship of your emotions, thoughts, and feelings. Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

If like most people Mindfulness seems a vague and confusing concept that you don’t really understand but would like to learn about. I’ve got something just for you! I recently created a 3-part mini-video series for newbies and my goal was to demystify Mindfulness and break it down into manageable and easy-to-understand chunks. Embark on your Mindfulness journey today and experience the profound and transformative effects it can have on your life. Click here to get started!

• SELF-COMPASSION

Another tip for banishing negative self-talk is practicing self-compassion. It involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a dear friend.

Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love. ~ Brene Brown

When you notice negative self-talk creeping in, recognize that these thoughts are not a reflection of your true self, but rather a product of your mind. In the same way your mind generates critical, berating thoughts, you can offer your mind words of encouragement and support. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s okay to not be perfect.

Self-acceptance reinforces a present-moment focus as it tends toward letting go of past regrets and worries about the future. Remind yourself that you can’t change the past, but you can learn from it and move forward. Kindness is the key and self-love is the center when it comes to loving acceptance of who you are.

Remember, self-compassion is not about being soft on yourself or neglecting your responsibilities. Rather, it’s about treating yourself with tenderness and understanding, even in difficult situations. With regular practice, it can lead to a healthier and more loving view of yourself.

2. Social isolation | Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

If you are plagued by low self-esteem, the very thought of social interaction can be a daunting and overwhelming experience. The fear of judgment and rejection can cause you to retreat into a shell, isolating yourself from the rest of the world. You may feel like you are constantly being watched, evaluated, and that you don’t fit in. Low self-esteem can trick you into believing that you are not worthy of friendship or love, that you don’t belong, and that you are not good enough to be in the company of others.

Withdrawing into isolation may seem like a quick fix for your struggles, but in reality, it only deepens the wound. Shutting yourself off from the world robs you of the opportunity to learn vital social and interpersonal skills, and your self-esteem continues to spiral downward, making the journey to healing ever more treacherous. Loneliness and depression are close companions on this path, and suicide looms as a constant threat. Instead of facing and overcoming your insecurities, you’re running from them, and as a result, you become trapped in a never-ending cycle of despair.

Humans are hard-wired to seek out connections with others. We are social creatures, born from tribes, and find joy and growth when we are surrounded by a caring and encouraging community. The human touch alone is a powerful healer, and science has proven that hugging or engaging in other forms of nonsexual physical contact, stimulates the brain to release oxytocin – commonly known as the “bonding hormone” This increases levels of feel-good hormones, like dopamine and serotonin, while reducing stress hormones such as cortisol and norepinephrine. So the jury is back in full unity when it comes to going it alone. Don’t. Loneliness kills. Social isolation is antithetical to your human nature and reaps havoc on your mental and emotional well-being.

Quick Tips For Overcoming Social Isolation

~ Nourish yourself with worthiness and recognize the beauty in your individuality. Dedicate time to activities that ignite your soul, get you excited, and bring you pure joy, particularly those that involve nature or human connection.

~ Reach out to the supportive figures in your life, open up your heart and share your feelings. This can make a world of difference. Ask questions and learn from them, as you both grow together.

~ Pursue new passions and interests, whether it be starting a new project, joining a class or community, reading uplifting literature, or anything that keeps you motivated to keep learning and evolving, even during trying times.

~ Cultivate meaningful relationships by surrounding yourself with those who align with your values and passions. Make sure to check in on them frequently and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

Living in the shadows of your fears and doubts is certain to keep you isolated But It’s important to remember that you are not alone in the struggle and that there are ways to overcome these feelings. Reach out, connect with others, and give yourself a chance to heal and thrive.

3. Overweight

Obesity has become an epidemic in the US, with devastating statistics on obesity-related illnesses.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than one-third of adults in the U.S. are considered to be overweight or obese. Additionally, over 18% of children ages 6–19 are considered to be obese. Being overweight and obese are major risk factors for a variety of chronic diseases, including heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, and certain types of cancer. 80 or 90% of these illnesses are lifestyle related. Your actions, habits, and choices all play a crucial role in determining your health.

At its core, it is a fundamental disconnection from your body – treating it as a dumping ground instead of the sacred temple it is and honoring it with nourishing choices. 

Keeping your body healthy is an expression of gratitude to the whole cosmos- the trees, the clouds, everything.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

The intricate body, mind, and spirit connection holds the power to unlock your full potential, but being overweight can weigh you down, preventing you from fully embracing life’s joys. The physical toll is immense – stressing joints, sapping energy, and putting a strain on vital organs. Every extra pound carries with it a heavy emotional burden, stealing your confidence and self-worth, leaving you feeling unattractive and undesired.

Being overweight can lead to feelings of shame, inadequacy, and low self-esteem. The constant struggle to lose weight can be draining and disheartening, leaving you feeling defeated and worthless. The judgment and societal pressure to conform to a certain body type can add to these feelings, making it hard to see yourself as worthy and deserving of love and happiness.

And you may be eating yourself to death. Studies have shown that there is a strong association between a high body mass index (BMI) and an increased risk of premature death. In the United States, the prevalence of overweight and obesity has been steadily increasing in recent decades. This has led to a significant burden of disease and increased healthcare costs. Read more

The idea of inner beauty is a powerful and uplifting one, but it’s important to remember that how you care for your physical self plays a crucial role in how you feel about yourself. Embracing your full self, flaws and all is a worthy pursuit that includes taking care of your body just as well as your mind and spirit.

Health is a state of complete mental, social and physical well-being, not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. – World Health Organization, 1948

Tips for a Healthy Body

• Embrace your body

Your body is unique and beautiful, and it’s important to love and accept it for what it is and take a holistic approach to your weight loss goals.

• Focus on self-care

Take care of your mind and body by eating healthy, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep.

• Set realistic weight loss goals

Set small achievable goals such as losing a certain amount of weight or exercising for a certain amount of time each day.

• Be Kind to yourself

Be kind and compassionate to yourself on your weight-loss journey. Remember that you are worthy and deserving of love and happiness, regardless of your size or shape.

• Get professional help

Seek out the help of a Life Coach who can help you work through your emotions and support you to lose weight. (Schedule a FREE 30-minute one-on-one with me today)

• Remember that change takes time

Don’t expect overnight results – it takes time and patience to make changes in your life.

• Celebrate your progress

Celebrate your progress and accomplishments, no matter how small they may be.

• Keep going

Your weight loss journey is not going to be easy, but it will be worth it. Keep pushing on and never give up on yourself.

Pro Tip

Fall in love with exercise. It is a transformative force, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. It has the power to change your attitudes, your moods, and the way you see yourself. When you take care of your body, you feel more confident, more capable, and more beautiful. Low self-esteem won’t stand a chance!

The issue of low-self esteem is an important one because it colors the lenses through which you see and experience life. We’ve looked at 3 signs of low self-esteem in Part 1 of this 2-part series including Negative Self-Talk, Social Isolation, and Obesity. In Part 2, which is coming soon, I will share 4 more signs to look out for when it comes to low self-esteem and offer suggestions and tips for overcoming the hold it has on your life.

Let’s Work Together!

If you struggle with low self-esteem or identify with any of the above signs and need support, consider working with me! 😊 As a Life and Couples Coach, I understand the challenges you face in your personal and relationship life. Whether you are struggling with a lack of motivation or feel like you’ve hit a roadblock, or just want your life to be different, I am here to help you identify the issues holding you back and provide tools and techniques to facilitate real and lasting change. Through holistic coaching sessions focused on setting specific goals, building new habits, and addressing underlying issues, I will be your biggest cheerleader and support you to reach your full potential and manifest the vision you have for your life. So if you are ready to get unstuck, get on purpose, and live the best version of yourself, SCHEDULE a one-on-one Strategy Session with me today! Yes, that’s how close you are to creating the life of your dreams!

With Grace and Gratitude

Michelle

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