Saturday Journaling Prompt:

What are the Top 3 Things my Inner Critic says to keep me in line? What is it afraid of?

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Don’t Draw Attention to Yourself Joanne

I can’t wait to meet with Jan and Elly, I haven’t seen them for close to 2 years. After we all finished school life just kind of took over and even though we talk on the phone almost every day, our usual meet-ups somehow took a back seat. What shall I wear, maybe I’ll put on my new jeans…hmmm, on second thoughts, maybe not. ‘You know you look way too fat and weird in those things Joanne what will Jan and Elly think? Elly is stunning, you don’t want to look even more drab standing next to her. And Jan’s drop-down-dead gorgeous body will just make all that ugly fat stand out. Put on your black sweater and leggings so you don’t draw attention to yourself.’

Stick to What You Know Best

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I looked at the vacancy board at work, my all-time dream job as Assistant Buyer was posted just yesterday! I’ve dreamed about this opening for years and it could definitely open doors for me in the fashion world. But oh no, the starting salary is really good. ‘You don’t have those kinds of skills. That’s a much better fit for someone with loads of experience, You don’t have any. Sarah in Marketing is much more qualified and experienced than you are. That’s way over your head, oh my goodness Sonia, what were you thinking? Oh well, you better get back to work and stick to what you know best.’

Not Good Enough for AGT

Mum burst into my room with excitement. ‘You’re never going to believe who’s in town?’ She could barely contain herself and blurted it out before I could guess. ‘America’s Got Talent and auditions start next week!’ Both of us now jumping for joy at the prospects of me showcasing my talent to the world. Juggling is my life. I come from a family of jugglers, my parent’s juggling act made headlines in our local newspapers back in the early 70s. And even though most people think it’s kinda wacky, I’ve been perfecting my act for years. ‘But America’s Got Talent? You? You’ll look foolish in front of all that real talent. They’ll boo you off stage and you’ll end up feeling stupid. Your little juggling act is fine in your hometown where everyone knows you but out there in the big world, you’ll be a laughing stock.’

Europe Here I Come or Maybe Not

It’s taking me over 3 years to save up for my backpacking trip to Europe. I’ve got more than enough spending money and my bills are good for the next 6 months. Ever since my 4th-grade project on Paris, I’ve longed to visit Europe. First stop Musée du Louvre. ‘Isn’t there a lot of terrorist attacks there? It’s not safe. Look what happened when you went to Disney world last year you almost fell out of the Magic Kingdom ride. That wasn’t pretty. And then there was the time you got lost in Central Park…that was scary. And now Europe, you could lose your life! Things always go wrong whenever you get ahead of yourself, or maybe there’s just something wrong with you. Life can be horribly brutal for the adventurous types.’

That taunting, disparaging voice inside of your head that loves judging and criticizing you, is your Gremlin. AKA your inner critic that will stop at nothing to sabotage your plans, dreams, goals, and relationships. It lives in the dark corners of your mind, waiting to hurl attacks at you whenever you make a mistake or try something new.

It served a great purpose when you were a child because it kept you safe and taught you survival strategies and tactics to avoid displeasing those you depended on. Back then, it protected you from failures and chaos. But now that you’re an adult, your Gremlin still wants to assert control over your decisions and your life. Instead of helping, it’s hindering and making things a lot worse.

It bombards you with self-destructive beliefs to keep you from exploring the world. It needs you to think about the world as a hateful and hostile place so that it can keep you small and hidden, and barely surviving in your own little world.

The more you feed off its insecurities, deceit, and lies, the less likely you are to take a risk or step outside of your comfort zone.

It wants you to stay stuck, confused, and scared because it’s the only way your Gremlin can succeed in its reign of terror against you. It knows fundamentally, that as long as it keeps you in fear, you will never break free of your victimhood status or experience your own power.

Your inner critic is terrified of being shamed, so it restricts you from making mistakes, from having fun, and from being creative. As long as it can feed you thoughts of being not good enough or lesser than, it’s got you cornered. It plays the narrative over and over in your mind with such self-defeating power, that you believe it to be your reality. Your self-esteem is crushed and your Gremlin emerges as the ultimate champion.

That self-judging, self-critical mental chatter, running rampant and unrestrained, is on a mission to destroy. It can’t allow you to be strong, confident, vulnerable, and worthy, so it saturates your mind with self-sabotaging absurdities that obscure your view. You see a full glass, half empty. You see darkness in luminous arrays of light. You see danger around every corner and strangers as enemies trying to hurt you. You see mistakes as fatal and life as a series of mistakes waiting to happen. You see caring as combat and love as something you definitely do not deserve. All the while your Inner Critic celebrates because it knows that in this state of being, you will always remain in the clutches of your limiting beliefs and never know or experience true self-determined freedom.

Your gremlin incites you to compare and compete to keep you playing defense and strengthen your fear of failure. In this condition, you never let anybody in or grow from your mistakes. So as long as you stay rigid, stuck in your ways, and inferior, you will always have the need to people please, stay closed off, attract conflict, peddle in perfectionism, and be unable to receive good feelings that others have towards you. Your sense of who you are will always be in turmoil.

Your Gremlins wins every time when it is in control and reaping havoc in your life. It shows its true and all-encompassing colors when you are most vulnerable or at your lowest. Left unchecked, the incessant inner voice will steal the quality of your life and block you from living fully, with meaning and purpose. Your gremlin is corrosive to your Heart and Soul and you have a sacred duty to ensure it stays under your complete and utter authority.

Awareness is the key to overcoming self-criticism and dealing with those pesky Gremlins.

Here are 5 questions to overcome your Inner Critic and feel Magnificent about yourself.

1. Where are you too hard on yourself in your life?
2. What do you need a pat on the back for? (Make a list)
3. Where does your inner critic get in the way of living your best life?
4. How are you holding yourself back from being a unique and distinctive human being?
5. What support do you need so that you can feel magnificent about yourself?

Ponder these questions over the week ahead. Journal around them to go
deeper.

JOURNALING

Journaling is healing. It’s the loving act of acknowledging your thoughts and feelings and affirming that you are worthy and valuable. Journaling supports your mental, emotional and physical well-being, and study after study points to the many benefits of taking time out to journal. Journaling strengthens your immune system, decreases blood pressure, reduces stress and depression, and can improve sleeping habits. Take a deep and thorough look at yourself, your motives, intentions, thought patterns, and behaviors. Learn more about who you are, what makes you tick, and your likes, dislikes, dreams, aspirations, and goals. Be consistent and enjoy the rewards journaling can bring to your life.

With grace and gratitude

Michelle

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