Dealing with the aftermath of infidelity is horrorfic!

The Pain of Betrayal

“There’s absolutely no more piercing betrayal than infidelity. Relationships are undone by it.” ~ Unknown

Infidelity can have a devastating impact on your relationship, leaving you feeling betrayed, hurt, and uncertain about the future. The emotional toll is far-reaching, resulting in intense feelings of anger, shame, guilt, and confusion. Infidelity is considered one of the most traumatic experiences a person can endure, as it shatters the very foundation of the relationship, leaving you in disarray and struggling to cope with the aftermath. Discovering that you partner has committed the ultimate act of betrayal may leave you wondering if the relationship can ever be repaired. The breach of trust has left a gaping hole in your heart and you’re left reeling from the pain. The sense of sadness and loss lingers like a gnawing ache.

The road to healing from infidelity can be long and difficult, and without proper support and guidance, you may struggle to navigate your way back to a place of trust and intimacy. That’s why I’m here to offer you The 7-Step Infidelity Recovery Program, a comprehensive guide designed to help you and your partner overcome the pain and betrayal caused by infidelity.

The program is thoughtfully structured with each module building upon the last, providing you with the necessary tools and strategies to repair, strengthen, and heal your relationship as you progress. With a focus on repairing and restoring love and trust, the program guides you on a journey towards a happier, and more resilient relationship. The 7 steps are outlined as follows:

Open communication and thorough discussion of sexual infidelity can increase the chances of a couple staying married. Details do matter according to research conducted by infidelity expert Dr. Peggy Vaughn who worked with over 1000 couples and found that those who discussed the affair were more likely to remain married. Couples who were more open and honest with each other were also more likely to stay together. Couples who refused to answer questions about the infidelity had a lower chance of staying married compared to those whose partners answered some or all of their questions.

~ 86% of couples who openly discuss the story of the affair remain married (living together).

~ 78% of those who discussed the situation a good bit were still married (and living together)
~ 55% of those who discussed the situation very little were still married (living together)

Open communication becomes a vehicle of collaborative effort that allows you to come together and develop a plan of action that takes into account the emotion and needs of both parties.

This is a particularly difficult part of the process but as your Coach, I will be on hand to support you. Step 2 introduces various Coaching Tools to help the offending spouse tell the story of the affair exactly the way the betrayed partner wants to hear it. You will be gently guided through the process of monologues, rituals, and eventually an ‘apology letter’.

The presence of secrecy will only serve to further damage the relationship. Ultimately, exploring the affair in a constructive and compassionate way can facilitate healing and begin the rebuilding process.

Self-work supports the relationship. While the nature of infidelity is complex and multifaceted it is often the result of unresolved wounds or personal challenges with emotions and/or communication.

This step of the program digs into your family and marriage background to investigate the potential roots of infidelity. While the partner who was cheated on may appear to be the victim, it’s crucial to keep in mind that the offending partner typically experiences overwhelming emotions of guilt, shame, fear, anger, hopelessness, a sense of condemnation, and loneliness.

Areas to address during in-session:

• How to cope with your emotions and restore trust with your partner
• The seven common feelings that you will likely experience
• How to overcome your negative emotions
• How to be sensitive to your partner’s needs
• How you can become transparent so you can regain your partner’s trust.

During this stage, we look at the Marriage Satisfaction Timeline, a crucial exercise that begins to shift away from the hurt and negativity of the past.

You may not be ready for sex, but introducing intimacy early on and learning the difference between the two, is an important step of the process. Intimacy should be the foundation of any relationship, while sex is an important expression of that intimacy.

You may be still reeling from infidelity, but unmet needs can lead to further problems, including continued infidelity. Step 4 of the program provides education and exercises that can help you re-engage in your sex life through sexual touch, intimacy monologues, positive love rituals, and various techniques to improve communication patterns.

The goal of this Step of the program is for you both to feel satisfied that your sexual and emotional needs are being met. I use the following tools to create a conducive environment to meet those needs:

• Foreplay map exercise
• Non-­Sexual Touch
• Sexual Variety
• The Intimate Bedroom

Step 5 involves an Emotional Needs Assessment, amongst others, which serves as a valuable tool for uncovering what truly brings happiness to you and your partner. It can be difficult to set aside preconceived notions and examine your relationship with a fresh perspective. However, it’s important to recognize that this process is all about shedding old habits and mindsets that may have led to past problems, and instead, embracing a new approach to create lasting change.

Step 5 is where the real action happens. I utilize the ‘Love Bank’ ‘Five Languages of Love’ ‘Love Busters’ and other Marriage Building tools, to rebuild the relationship foundation and reignite the flame of romantic love.

We work together to deepen your connection and to find ways to prioritize each other so that you both feel valued and loved. This helps to create a sense of safety and trust, which is essential for reestablishing a healthy relationship. As you begin to rebuild I will support you to take small steps toward trusting your partner again. This means learning to forgive and let go of past hurts, and shifting focus to the present moment.

The Coaching Exercises in Step 5 also hone in on negative behaviors that can damage the relationship. By learning how to avoid these behaviors and replacing them with positive actions, you can avoid unnecessary conflicts and create a more loving and harmonious environment.

After undergoing a lengthy and challenging recovery journey, thanks to rigorous relational work, forgiveness appears within reach during the last stages of the program. Stabilization of the marriage has returned and there are many more good days, and far less painful ones.

It is more important than ever to remain vigilant during Step 6 of the process to avoid relapse and a gradual drift back to the old patterns that created the environment of the affair.

True forgiveness is the essence of healing. It means letting go of the negative feelings such as resentment and anger, that are attached to this life-changing event.

Forgiveness will feel false unless you actually feel ready to forgive so spending time in Step 6 is absolutely necessary before moving forward.

Whether your marriage survives or not, it is important that you work through the process of forgiveness. By achieving personal healing, you can move on to the next stage of your life without any lingering pain or hurt.

Step 6 encompasses more than just a philosophical approach to forgiveness; it also entails taking practical steps towards accountability, including the implementation of checks and balances as an integral part of the forgiveness process.

The ‘Forgiveness checklist’ tool has several touch points to ensure this is accomplished including:

• The development of new patterns of open, honest, and complete communication to rebuild trust
• Agreed expectations of the marriage/relationship going forward
• Marriage secrets are fully disclosed and dealt with
• A ‘set-back’ plan is in place
• Trigger points and self-sabotaging behavior are identified and understood
• The 6 ‘R’s’ (Recognition, Responsibility, Remorse, Restitution, Reform, and Reconciliation) are in force
• The need to talk about the affair has substantially diminished

With various tools at my disposal including monologues, a ‘Forgiveness Letter’ exercise, and a beautiful ritual of forgiveness and healing you are now ready to formulate an action plan and move on to the next step.

• Development of a 90-day action plan consisting of daily, weekly, and long-term goals
• Resources for ongoing support and alternative ways of receiving help

Sadly, not every relationship will recover from the act of infidelity. If you decide to end the relationship, I will also support that process with a final closure session.

The 90-Day Action Plan is a culmination of all the new learning, new thinking, new skills, and exercises you’ve acquired during the 7-step program. It covers the key areas to nurture, rebuild and romance your relationship including:

• Intimacy and Friendship
• Commitment, Communication, and Connection
• Trust Building
• Checking in and Accountability
• Quality Time
• Self-care
• Self-Soothing
• Soothing Each Other
• Date night
• Self-Reflection.

 In short, there’s no magic solution to saving a marriage other than the willingness and effort of the two individuals involved. However, the 7-Step Infidelity Program can offer a valuable framework for uncovering and addressing the root causes of an affair by guiding you through a process that delves deeper into your relationship. By peeling back the layers and examining underlying issues, I can reassure you that I am deeply committed and will professionally and with the utmost love and care, facilitate the process of healing and rebuilding your bond.

The program’s progression is designed to be sequential, with each step building upon the previous one. It encompasses a broad spectrum of tools and techniques aimed at addressing the diverse aspects of your relationships and deals with the various emotions that may arise as you navigate through the different stages of pain.

The 7-step program is supported by the following fundamentals that complement the steps outlined above.

Taking Responsibility

When you take responsibility for your actions, you acknowledge the harm you have caused and are more likely to take steps to correct it. This encourages you to take ownership rather than blaming your partner or external factors for your behavior.

Acknowledging the Impact of Infidelity

Acknowledging the impact of infidelity can help both partners understand the gravity of the situation. Infidelity is not just a breach of trust; it can also cause emotional trauma that can be challenging to heal. Understanding the extent of the damage caused can help partners appreciate the work required to repair the relationship.

Acknowledging the impact of infidelity can also help both partners to develop empathy and understanding toward each other. This can improve communication, promote healing, and increase the chances of a successful reconciliation.

Rebuilding Trust

Trust is essential in any healthy relationship, and the 7-Step Recovery program focuses on practical strategies for rebuilding trust, including effective communication, transparency, and consistent actions that demonstrate your commitment to the relationship. Trust is the most important element of a relationship for the following reasons:

• Trust can help you feel more secure in the relationship and have a greater sense of emotional intimacy.
• It helps to establish a new level of transparency and communication between you
• Rebuilding trust can help you move forward from the past and focus on the present and future of the relationship

Creating a New Relationship Vision

Creating a new relationship vision that takes into account the lessons learned from the infidelity. The 7-Step Program will guide you through the process of establishing clear goals and values to strengthen your relationship and create a deeper sense of connection and commitment.

Developing Effective Communication Skills

Communication is a crucial aspect of any flourishing relationship, and the program emphasizes the significance of effective communication by offering practical techniques and tools. These tools will help you cultivate healthy communication skills with your partner, such as active listening, expressing emotions, and conflict resolution.

Navigating Triggers and Challenges

Triggers and challenges will arise along the way. With new learning from the program, you will be better equipped to manage difficult emotions and deal with external stressors. With improved skills to better navigate your relationship, you are more likely to stay committed to the recovery process.

Maintaining Long-Term Relationship Health

Maintaining long-term relationship health is the ultimate goal of the program. There are a number of tools and strategies provided to continue growing and strengthening your relationship, including setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and cultivating a deep sense of love and respect for your partner.

With the 7-Step Infidelity Recovery Program, I believe that every couple has the potential to heal and grow stronger in the aftermath of infidelity. The program provides a wealth of valuable resources and support needed to overcome the challenges of infidelity and help couples move forward with renewed love, trust, and commitment.

Program Duration:

A 16-week online program designed to help you move beyond anger, hopelessness, and confusion, and toward stabilizing your relationship.

Program DELIVERY:

You will be guided through the 7-step process by a professional Life and Couples Coach during one-on-one, 1-hour weekly sessions via telephone audio or Zoom.

Program Duration/Pace

The program is structured to accommodate your own pace, recognizing that infidelity recovery is a unique process requiring thorough intervention that may go beyond 16 weeks.

Program CONTENT

With a focus on coaching exercises, hands-on interactive learning, assessments, homework assignment, and verbal engagement, the program challenges you to confront uncomfortable issues that are essential for the healing process.

Prescreening

The program is undeniably valuable, however, it’s important to recognize that not everyone is at the same level of readiness when it comes to saving the marriage. While you may be motivated and eager to repair your relationship, success can only be achieved if both parties are equally committed and prepared to step fully into the process. For this reason, all couples are required to participate in a 30-minute prescreening. This provides an opportunity for you and I to determine if we are a good fit, ask any questions you may have, and for me to assess your level of readiness. Taking these steps ensures that you receive the clarity and reassurance you need to achieve a positive outcome.

Signing up

After successfully completing the pre-screening process, the next step is to sign up! I will send you a Coaching Agreement via email, which you will need to carefully read, sign, and return within 24 hours. In addition, full payment in the amount of $4,800 is required at this time. We will also exchange all other pertinent information such as your email address, contact information, and any other necessary details. Once these steps are complete, I will schedule an initial Intake Session followed by weekly Coaching sessions.

Getting started

Starting your healing journey is easy. Simply click the button below and schedule a prescreening call with me today! Receive unwavering support as I guide you toward a new path.

Know that the 7-Step Infidelity Program:

• Provides a safe and supportive environment for you to heal from the emotional trauma of infidelity
• Offers a structured program with a trained infidelity Coach who will provide you with the tools and resources you need to move forward
• Helps you to understand and process the complex emotions that come with infidelity, including anger, grief, and betrayal
• Provides a confidential space for you to share your experiences and feelings without fear of judgment or shame
• Helps you to rebuild trust and intimacy in your relationship and create a new relationship vision
• Teaches communication and boundary-setting skills, helping you to set realistic expectations and negotiate your needs with your partner
• Offers ongoing support and resources after the program ends, ensuring that you have the tools and support needed to continue on your healing journey.

Couples who complete the 7-­step program are less likely to divorce, as they have a new reality of what their relationship needs, and are willing to work on the relationship moving forward.

About Me

Coaching is not just a job for me; it is my life’s love and passion. Seeing my clients experience breakthroughs and gain new perspectives on their relationships is incredibly satisfying and rewarding. I believe that couples coaching requires experience, knowledge, and a wide range of effective communication and listening skills. For these reasons I believe am qualified to deliver coaching and training that is impactful, transformational, and tailored to your unique circumstances and needs.

My professional values are centered on commitment, human dignity, honesty, and integrity. I am committed to ensuring that you receive practical and usable relational skills that will help you succeed in your relationship. Creating a safe, caring, and non-judgmental space where you can comfortably share your thoughts and feelings is essential to me.

On a personal note, my greatest achievement and source of pride is being a mother (and now a grandmother) to my two adult children, Andre and Sharna. I came from a somewhat dysfunctional and broken home, but I was able to overcome the hurt and chaos of my past by making different choices and taking a different path. I am living proof that breaking unhealthy cycles, healing, and doing deep personal work can lead to a rich and rewarding life, and I am here to help you achieve the same in your relationship.

When I’m not coaching, I enjoy cycling, reading, working out, trying out healthy recipes, and traveling. I am down-to-earth, hopelessly in love with my work, and care deeply about people and making a difference in the world.

Coaching Qualifications/Education

Personal Transformation Coaching Program (distinction), Animas Centre for Coaching, U.K. August 2013.
Professional Health Coach, Health Coach Training, July 2014 (U.S)
Clinical Foundations in Gottman Method Couples Therapy Level 1: February 2018, Level 2: February 2018 (U.S)
Trained Gottman 7 Principles Educator, March 2018 (U.S)
Relationship Coach, Relationship Coaching Institute, August 2019. (U.S)
Infidelity Recovery Coach, March 2020 (U.S)
Mindfulness Training, November 2020 – Positive Psychology.com

I believe that investing in my own self-work and education is crucial for providing the standards of care offered in my coaching services.

I hope this bio has given you a sense of who I am as a person and a coach.