Without good communication, a relationship is merely a hollow vessel carrying you along on a frustrating journey fraught with the perils of confusion, projection, and misunderstanding.

~ Cherie Carter-Scott

It Starts At Home

The number one issue facing couples right across the board is communication or more often, the lack thereof. Communication, however, is so fundamental to a healthy relationship because not only is it a means to asking for what you need, good communication helps you learn more about each other, share your experiences, viewpoints, and feelings, all of which leads to a deepening of your connection. Of course, the other essential part of communication is listening. Equally important if not more so, but also a skill many people fail to master.

The way in which you communicate is often tied back to your upbringing. What communication looked like at home likely shaped your ideas, attitude, and readiness to communicate in a constructive and effective way, or not. If you were raised in an environment where you were seen but not heard, where your voice did not matter or you never engaged in open and meaningful conversations, or worse, ignored, you probably did not have much of a platform to develop effective listening or communication skills. If on the other hand open and engaging communication were the everyday norm in your household and self-expression was valued and encouraged, communication may not be quite the struggle.

But even in the more enlightened households where communication was welcomed in a positive way, you still may be woefully unprepared to navigate the challenging terrain of communication within the confines of a relationship. It’s a whole different ball game because now there are two of you with your own unique communication needs and styles. And even if your relationship has a pretty strong foundation, issues and arguments will inevitably come knocking at your door. Not that it should cause such damage, the door goes flying off its hinges. But a good place to be in your relationship when difficulties and disagreements do come knocking, and they will, is to open up, be prepared, and be equipped with some high-powered tools, just in case the storm door does go flying!

Common Relationship Traits That Lack Good Communication

Most couples really do not like conflict, arguments, or knife-cutting tension. Even outside the realms of relationships, I believe humans are hard-wired to get along. People want a peaceful and harmonious life. They want to be heard and understood but the reality is your relationship may look more like this:

• You feel like you are not being heard or that your needs are not being met
• You say and mean one thing but he hears and does something completely different
• You’re speaking two different languages and getting nowhere
• Constantly talking over each other, you shut down then arguments get left unresolved

What if you could wave a magic wand and in a minute, replace arguments, misunderstandings, and conflict with effective and thoughtful communication? What if your second wish could give you magic powers to skillfully respond to the needs of your partner in a way that made them feel listened to and understood?

Well, the good news is you don’t need a magic wand or anything resembling a genie in a bottle. No trips to Home Depot for high-powered tools either! With a small investment in your relationship, the Communication Map will give you the skills you need to communicate better in your relationship, with highly effective tools.

A 6-Week Program for Couples

I’d like to share with you my 6-week program for couples called the Communication Map. It is a highly effective tool proven to provide a structure and a framework for being able to speak and hear one another. It is a foundational system to effectively address issues and problems in your relationship.

This 6-Week program will help you:

~Resolve conflicts & issues
~Negotiate needs & wants
~Get to the underlying cause of contention
~Develop listening skills resulting in deeper, more attentive listening.
~Identify and address unmet needs
~ Create space to be vulnerable
~ Speak your truth
~ Respond more intuitively, skillfully, and thoughtfully

When you communicate better you enhance the quality and closeness of your relationship.

Ready To Get Started?

As with all my Coaching Programs, I want to make sure you are well-prepared and in a good space to get the most from this process. As much as I LOVE coaching and helping couples build a basis for a lasting life together, it is a partnering relationship. Without getting all technical, our relationship is a creative process, with you identifying and initiating the outcomes you want for your life.

I encourage you to read the articles below then sign up for a Free 45-minute Couple’s Relationship Strategy Session.

I look forward to working with you and being part of your journey to better communication!